My growing teen

" There is this boy who stole my heart. He calls me MUMMA - MOM - MUMMY."

Parenting a teenager is not like any other stage of parenting where we could experiment with the old methods by making changes and implementing the same. But then sometimes I do feel that parenting is actually about facing new challenges in every possible way. Accepting the fact that my little boy is turning into a young man has been a roller coaster ride.

                                       

It did take a while to understand that his needs are changing, he is asking for freedom and independency and is figuring out what he wants to be and above all his body is changing too. During this process of the transformation, I am learning few things :

1.  Make myself a safe place so that he can approach me anytime or in any situation to share his problems. Rather than pounding with a bag of questions, give time to him to unwind and relax.

2.  Be a helping hand while he is cleaning up his cricket kit or room. Sometimes these times are the best ones to start a conversation.

3.  Be ready to listen to him even if it is about his scripts or his You tube channel content or is nth number of business plan. Boys can be fickle and he might not want to talk when I am ready to listen. Hence, be ready when is ready to share.

4.  Be a guide to set limits, boundaries and rules. It is important to understand and be patient with him till till he figures out what he really wants.

5.  Hug or just snuggle him (though he doesn't like it much these days) and give him that mom's touch so he knows that he is still my little boy and means world to me.

6.  Make his favorite meal thus making him feel very special. I never knew that a bowl of Burrito was such a powerful dish.

7.  Talk and treat him like an adult and I see the magic how it is impacting our relationship.

8.  Believe and have faith in him. We share our secrets with each other and have those fun sign languages which are understood only by both of us.

9. Model respect and love for people around us so he also demonstrates the same as I want him to be a kind human.

My teen boy needs unconditional love from me and I will continue to shower upon him in every  possible way through daily love affirmations.

HOLI and life lessons

 

HOLI – the festival of colours – brings joy, happiness and energy. 

The festival marks the advent of spring with the flowers beginning to bloom hence sometimes referred as the "Spring Festival". Holi is a traditional Hindu festival, which celebrated the triumph of good over evil. Although the festival originates in India and celebrated as a religious festival, it has been adopted in many places around the world.

The festival not only brings with it a lot of cheerfulness but also important life lessons for daily implementation :-

Get rid of negative vibes / thinking:
One must rid themselves from negative thinking to lead a happy life. Negative thinking can ruin your life and affect your mental health and of the people around you. Put your negative thinking in the bonfire of Holika Dahan and fill new energy, enthusiasm and positive energy in your life.

Forgive & Forget:
Holi gives us an opportunity to forgive our enemies, celebrate the festival of colours along with them and make them friends again.

Welcome every colour of life with open mind: 
Colours are integral part of the festival, like wise life also consist of different colours like problems, challenges, failure, happiness, success and so on. Accept these different colours of life and enjoy each colour with full energy and enthusiasm. 

Equality :- 
According to mythology, Lord krishna got the blue colored skin because of the poison given to him by the demon Putna. Lord Krishna painted his face with a colour to look same like others. Similarly, while celebrating the festival with colours, once applied, we all look equal and cannot be differentiated.

Celebrate every moment :- 
Holi is the perfect occasion to revitalize, appreciate and celebrate all beautiful relationships. Let's imbibe in some of the valuable and powerful lesson that Holi teaches us. And enrich our lives with peace, harmony and love. 

The most important life lesson is to be safe and take care of yourself while playing Holi !

Build a relationship with your child

 

There is no relationship as beautiful as a parent – child as it gives us a second chance to be a child and grow into a different adult. As my little one (who is no more little) is growing up to be an independent individual, there are few things I have learnt as a parent (& I am still learning from him).

Let this divine relationship be full of love and understanding. One of the golden rules of Parenting is to always show your child the kind of person you want him to be. This is done by modelling the role. 

• Responsible – Accepting your mistake even as an adult, helps him to understand that it is ok to make mistakes but it is best to mend it at the earliest.
• Trust – Encourage him to try and learn from different situations as it will give him confidence to fight his own battles. This has helped him build trust and faith in himself too.
• Time – Time and undivided attention when he comes to you is of utmost importance. Listen to him completely and then react. Overreacting to situation and later regretting should be an avoidable situation.
• Respect – Teach him by example. Let him learn that everyone has their own self-respect, opinion and personal space. Respect is a 2-way street, if you want to get it then you got to give it.
• Rules – Yes, Rules are important to set a routine but be flexible enough to change as per the situation. Certain rules were ok when I was a child but now, they do not hold any purpose. So, it’s better to have rules which are win – win for both.
• Failure – There could be times where he is struggling to complete his assignment or task. Let him figure it out on his own (at least in the beginning). Do not rush to help him out. Let him understand “Failure is not the opposite of success but part of it”.
• Equality – It is very important that we treat the growing off springs equal. Encourage their opinions while planning a holiday, a meal, a visit to a restaurant or anything that involves.

A     Always remember :  

    "Respect is earned, honesty is appreciated, trust is gained and Loyalty is returned".

 

Valentine's Day special

While you always plan to spoil / pamper your spouse; do not forget the little ones! Celebrate Valentine's day simple but with a style.

Here are the ways to show love and make the day special :-

• Make homemade valentine cards.
  
  
  
• Buy inexpensive / small gifts like a heart shaped key-chain or his favorite chocolate.
  
  
  
• Make fun and memorable food like – A berry delicious smoothies or a heart shaped cake.
  
  
  
• Make heart shaped decor and decorate the house with the same.
  
  
  
•  Sign up for a parent – child activity or a dance session.
  
  
  
•  Go for a lunch / dinner date at his favorite restaurant.
  
  
  
• Plan a child friendly movie date at the nearest theater.
  
  
  
•  Watch Valentine day special movies like “life is beautiful” or “beauty and the beast” at home and of course with pop corn.
  
  
  
•  Wear matching clothes and have a photo shoot.
  
  
  
• Relish the red colored food.
  
  
  
  
• Read love - themed stories like “ A hug is for holding me”.
  
  
  
• Celebrate by pampering with a head and foot massage.
  
  
  
• Encourage the Random act of kindness by giving food to the needy or leave a thank you note to any of the community helpers.
  
  
  

Correlation

Learn while you travel

Learning is always fun especially when it is while you are travelling. Travelling teaches many valuable things which we can apply in our work too. Below mentioned are few skills which I feel correlate at work and while you travel -

• Keep calm : Delayed flights / trains; least preferred hotel rooms, always-complaining passenger and so on teaches you how to keep cool and enjoy the trip. Being adaptable to situations and circumstances also helps in managing stress.
•  Time management:
  This is one of the most important skills that we learn especially while travelling with children. Advance research on the places to visit and their working / opening hours could help in saving lot of time.                                                                                         
  
• Visualization: When travelling with different groups of people, we learn how each individual thinks or feels about a place thus broadening our thinking too.
  
• Planning: Imagine, it’s your toddler’s lunch time and you are in the middle of a boat ride where there is no food available. Timely planning could have avoided this situation where the toddler could have been fed before getting onto the ride.
  
• Communication: It is very important to communicate in the right manner keeping in mind different cultures have different ways to interpret things. Always be a good listener to be able to communicate better while travelling.
  
• Appreciation : As we travel, we also learn about different cultures of different countries. We enjoy listening to and discovering their history. Appreciating the same will enable us to adapt to different cultures easily.
  
•  Make friends:
  Making friends with strangers while on travel helps in understanding their culture better by learning their language, tasting their local food and so on. It is so amazing to discover how every individual from every culture is so unique and different.
  
• Curiousness: The inquisitiveness to know about a place helps to improve our knowledge and enhances the cognitive skills too.
  
• Be adventurist: It is good to experiment new ideas and experience things out of the comfort zone.

No matter where and how you travel, you are always learning something useful. Similarly, whatever work/ job you do, learning from mistakes & developing new skills takes place on a regular basis.

A Tough Decision

It has been a roller coaster ride for me since my son was born.  Accomplishing all the milestones have been a challenge and fun too.  My friends kept making plans to go on a holiday leaving kids back at home but my conscience never allowed me to leave pratham for few days.  He has his Dadi,  Bade Papa,  Nani,  Nana, Masi and Bua who he loves and can stay with them too.  I always preferred to go for a 3 to 4 hours party where I would came back and see him sleeping.  When I wake up in the morning,  I would see him.  So this has been the routine for almost 5 years.
I always read or heard from parents that a break without kids is needed in today's lifestyle.  Main Reasons being :
A)  Child learns to be independent.
B)  the "WE"  time : The couple gets to spend time with each other as they barely talk anything else besides child related things.
C) As parents, we also get a break from our daily chores.

But this never made a big difference as I was never prepared to leave him alone for days. So we missed out on many activities which could be done only as couples.I always looked for family oriented outings and activities. My husband planned only boys trip.  But I could never think of leaving my son back home with his Papa and going on a holiday. 

But then comes up a very good friend's wedding which was outstation. It was important that we both attend it but we couldnt let my son bunk his school.  So after many ifs and buts,  it was decided that only my hubby and I go for the wedding leaving my son behind with my in-laws n my parents. 

Indeed a TOUGH DECISION.

Too many questions going on in my mind.  Is it the right thing am I doing? Will he be OK when I am not around? Will he hate me because I left him and went?
Ufff.. No end to the the anxiousness.

The final day came when we were leaving.  I was scared that he would cry if I left in front of him. So the thought came that I should leave when he is not around.  But then I felt that he should see me going with my suitcase so he knows I amnot around for few days. He was absolutely fine and smiling when I left though I had tears in my eyes. Till I reached airport,  I kept on thinking what he must be doing. On reaching the destination,  I called him up and he was absolutely fine.

We attended the functions and wedding and it was time to be back home.  I was super excited to Hug Pratham.
On reaching Mumbai,  I was thrilled to see his reaction.  Every minute seemed like an hour.  AND there he disembarks his school Bus.  We both hugged each other as if we met after years.  Wow..  What a feeling.

So true," There are lot of things that I am proud of but Nothing can beat being a Mom."

Hugs only for my dad

Being the eldest amongst the three sisters, parents have always been a bit strict with me. May be because i always respected whatever they told me.

Lets go to almost 15 years back. During this period, i was neither allowed to wear sleeveless in bus/ train nor talk to boys nor stay out of the house after 10 pm. My dad used to travel a lot for work during this time. He used to stay away from India for almost 6 months. He has sacrificed a lot of things for us. But being so young that time, i never realized it. I always complained to mom about his behavior and attitude. But today when i am married and when my husband goes even for 6 days i realise how difficult it is for both of us to stay away from each other.

Papa's reason for not pampering any of us was that we all should be independent and tough. He started believing that we are equal to boys so he made sure that we learn sports too. Till date, i remember papa making me do all the bank work from the age of 15. He never accompanied me to the bank to guide me but only instructed me to follow the signs. He taught me that taking help from the officials is absolutely ok.

I was 18 and yet not so confident while driving car. Papa told me to take the car alone and its absolutely ok to bang the car but just make sure that not to bang into anybody. Since that day, not even once have i banged the car. I love driving and it is all because of him. He has always encouraged me in whatever i did. As the years passed by, he became more open minded and never said a no when it came to learn something new.

Now came the time to get married. Most difficult phase of my life. When i decided to chose a partner, papa was the first one to oppose not because he didn't like him but because he wasn't prepared to send me off.. With great difficulty, mom n me convinced him. First time ever i saw tears in his eyes at the time of my 'bidaai' and that's when I HUGGED and told him that i will always respect and love him for whatever i am today.

Many times i miss being with him. He loves travelling to different places, experimenting new cuisines and exploring the unexplored. And i am proud to say that i am his copy in this.
I just love the way he loves his wife. Even when he is angry, only his love for mom can be seen. 

I really appreciate the way he looks after his parents. He makes sure that he meets them on regular basis and talks to them daily.

My papa is the perfect man who balances between his parents, wife and his children. He is more of a friend than a dad figure to his son-in-laws.

Papa truly believes in living for today and enjoy every moment.

This father’s day, I am expressing my love towards my dad by participating in the #HugYourDad activity at BlogAdda in association with Vicks.