“Beta, it’s time to have a second baby” was one of the
statement I used to hear few years back (and of course I do have to listen to
it now but rarely) Statements like these can never be argued or carried forward
as a conversation but here are my thoughts (or I wish I could reply back to
those aunties) :
- “Siblings are great companions” - I do have siblings and we bond very well. We, the grownups, are busy with our careers, family and life; we seldom meet. I know they will always be there for me when needed but when I actually need them, they are pre committed which I will not say is wrong. 21st century kids are so independent that they will make friends quickly.
- “Beta, you have a good family support” - yes
I do have super support from my husband, mother in law, my mom and all others.
But this is no reason to have a second child. At the end, I am the mother and I
am responsible for everything. I can take their help but cannot be depended on
them.
- “By God’s grace, family is
financially good.” - I am very glad that family is financially
strong and can afford many kids but that is not the reason why I am not having
a second child. Beside education, there are many other expenses like after
school activities, Holiday trips, Birthday Parties and the list goes on which
demand not only finances but devoted time. I rather have one child and give him
best of everything.
- “Having a second child, increases the bond between
husband and wife” : Really? After
having our child, we already spend very less time with each other as during the
day we are busy with work and when he is free in the evening/ night, I am busy
with my son’s classes and homework. So in
case if we have another child, We won’t see each other for days :)
I am confident that PN Jr. will grow as an independent, obedient and
caring Human. Few people believe that a single child tends to grow stubborn and
self centered. There are families who have 3 to 4 children and yet are very
stubborn. So it’s totally on one’s nature how he grows to be.
I might face the following challenges:
- Inculcating sharing habits.
- Taking care of the younger ones.
- Assuring safety while I play with other kids.
But, all of these would
have to be managed and implemented whether I have 1 or more children.
At the end, all I can say is..
A mother to a single child is a happy mom who makes sure that her family too is always happy.
