My growing teen

" There is this boy who stole my heart. He calls me MUMMA - MOM - MUMMY."

Parenting a teenager is not like any other stage of parenting where we could experiment with the old methods by making changes and implementing the same. But then sometimes I do feel that parenting is actually about facing new challenges in every possible way. Accepting the fact that my little boy is turning into a young man has been a roller coaster ride.

                                       

It did take a while to understand that his needs are changing, he is asking for freedom and independency and is figuring out what he wants to be and above all his body is changing too. During this process of the transformation, I am learning few things :

1.  Make myself a safe place so that he can approach me anytime or in any situation to share his problems. Rather than pounding with a bag of questions, give time to him to unwind and relax.

2.  Be a helping hand while he is cleaning up his cricket kit or room. Sometimes these times are the best ones to start a conversation.

3.  Be ready to listen to him even if it is about his scripts or his You tube channel content or is nth number of business plan. Boys can be fickle and he might not want to talk when I am ready to listen. Hence, be ready when is ready to share.

4.  Be a guide to set limits, boundaries and rules. It is important to understand and be patient with him till till he figures out what he really wants.

5.  Hug or just snuggle him (though he doesn't like it much these days) and give him that mom's touch so he knows that he is still my little boy and means world to me.

6.  Make his favorite meal thus making him feel very special. I never knew that a bowl of Burrito was such a powerful dish.

7.  Talk and treat him like an adult and I see the magic how it is impacting our relationship.

8.  Believe and have faith in him. We share our secrets with each other and have those fun sign languages which are understood only by both of us.

9. Model respect and love for people around us so he also demonstrates the same as I want him to be a kind human.

My teen boy needs unconditional love from me and I will continue to shower upon him in every  possible way through daily love affirmations.

Creative ways to spend quality time with your child

 A family is the biggest asset any of us can have and hence it is very important that we spend good time with family and the loves ones. Spending time with them helps to understand each other better.  Here are few tips which I follow in the day to day routine  :- 

• Have a morning ritual where you spend at least 10 minutes with the child doing something as simple as reading a newspaper.

• Involve him in meal preparations as it helps in family bonding & togetherness .

• Encourage conversations at the dinner table where the family members are involved too.

• Share the history of the family & the ancestors.

• Reverse the role and become a child. Ask him questions which involves research and reasons.

• Motivate him to plan a holiday or organize a party.

• Exercise / workout or go for a walk together.

Having a family is a blessing. Make the most of it by bonding and doing activities together. Spend time together and make memories.

Let them get bored

 

Today when we get bored, we have or know lot of things to do like:

•      We read books, articles, newspapers and so on.
•          We go for a walk or go cycling
•          Some of us love to write. So we even pen down our views / thoughts.
•          Some of us even dance on loud music.
•         Some make such beautiful paintings in their boredom.
•         Some invent new recipes which are so delicious. Many more such activities that all of us indulge into.

BUT,

Ever wondered what our kids will do if they were in our place?

The answer is: they would either watch TV or play on iPads, mobiles, tablets and other gadgets.

Why is it necessary to always plan something or the other for our child? Why is it that we have to think whether they will like or dislike a particular activity?

In holidays, I have seen most of the moms sign up their kids for summer camps. In spite of attending 6 to 8 hours of school, yet they enroll kids for all sorts of classes. Upon asking few of them, I have most common replies:

1.       I am a working mom. I don’t have extra time to spend it with her. So its better she goes for some activity to “keep herself busy”.

2.       I don’t have the patience to entertain him for 4 hours until he goes to bed.

3.       He gets bored after coming from school. So its better he goes for some classes.

Just think this way. Years back, when we were young or in our teens, did our parents think the same way as we do today? We ALSO GOT BORED. But it is during this boredom, we learnt to grow.

·       When we went out for family gatherings, we also got bored. But we learnt to interact with everyone whether elder or younger than us.

·       There were days when we could not step out of the house and we got bored. But we knew what all games or activities to look for at home.

·       I used to finish having dinner well before time than my cousins. But I had to wait until they finished theirs so that we could play again. I got bored waiting for them. This gave me a chance to talk to others around and helped me to kill my boredom.

·       Our parents did have a had social life. They too had friends and relatives coming over. They would get busy with them. We got thoroughly bored. BUT we learnt to go in the room and play some game on our own.

I am not comparing full fledged between us and our kids. Yes, we have moved forward a lot but we need to think seriously on this. If we don’t let our child get bored and then how is he/ she going to be able to decide what all can he/she do to pass by their boredom. It is high time that we stop entertaining them all the time. We must stop planning their days and weeks in advance.

It is absolutely OK for kids to get bored. Boredom is one of the important factors of our lives. It is when we get bored; we get into a thinking process. Boredom is scientifically linked to creativity. It is the wandered mind which helps people to “think out of the box”. Research has shown that boredom can inspire the mind to have a creative solution to most of the problems. Since, most of us don’t like to get bored for too long, we tend to get motivated to seek out new goals and experiences.