Build a relationship with your child

 

There is no relationship as beautiful as a parent – child as it gives us a second chance to be a child and grow into a different adult. As my little one (who is no more little) is growing up to be an independent individual, there are few things I have learnt as a parent (& I am still learning from him).

Let this divine relationship be full of love and understanding. One of the golden rules of Parenting is to always show your child the kind of person you want him to be. This is done by modelling the role. 

• Responsible – Accepting your mistake even as an adult, helps him to understand that it is ok to make mistakes but it is best to mend it at the earliest.
• Trust – Encourage him to try and learn from different situations as it will give him confidence to fight his own battles. This has helped him build trust and faith in himself too.
• Time – Time and undivided attention when he comes to you is of utmost importance. Listen to him completely and then react. Overreacting to situation and later regretting should be an avoidable situation.
• Respect – Teach him by example. Let him learn that everyone has their own self-respect, opinion and personal space. Respect is a 2-way street, if you want to get it then you got to give it.
• Rules – Yes, Rules are important to set a routine but be flexible enough to change as per the situation. Certain rules were ok when I was a child but now, they do not hold any purpose. So, it’s better to have rules which are win – win for both.
• Failure – There could be times where he is struggling to complete his assignment or task. Let him figure it out on his own (at least in the beginning). Do not rush to help him out. Let him understand “Failure is not the opposite of success but part of it”.
• Equality – It is very important that we treat the growing off springs equal. Encourage their opinions while planning a holiday, a meal, a visit to a restaurant or anything that involves.

A     Always remember :  

    "Respect is earned, honesty is appreciated, trust is gained and Loyalty is returned".

 

Life skills - A must

Teaching a child life skills is not only important in self care but also helps him in developing self esteem, confidence, socializing, independent thinking and reasoning.

There are certain skills which need to be inculcated at the very beginning of a child’s life and some as they grow. These skills are in cooperated from home and may be not at school. Being an Indian household, every family and religion have different ways of teaching these skills.

I have listed few life skills which I, as an adult and a mother have instilled in my son’s daily routine. Of course, there would be many more which might be taught at different levels. I strongly believe that none of the house chores should be gender specific.  Washing utensils or basic sewing can be done by anybody.

Little Angel (2 – 3 years old)

Ø  Puts his toys away with assistance.

Ø  Puts his soiled clothes in a basket, with little help from me.

Ø  Folds big sized napkins with assistance.

Ø  Assist in dining table setting like     laying the big sized cutlery – plates,   spoon, Bowls, napkin.

Ø Help him hold spoon / fork while   having meals on his own.

Ø Takes more time to complete his food   in the plate.

Ø  Brushes his teeth, washes and wipes his face with assistance. 

Cute devils (4 – 5 years old)

      

Ø  Basic house chores – laying / clearing the table before / after meals respectively, dusting the reachable places.

Ø  Knows his full name, home address and contact number (mobile / Landline) to be able to reach in case of emergency.

Ø  Placing all toys / games in places without any assistance.

Ø  Brushes teeth, washes face, combs hair and has bath on his own.

Ø  Independently folds medium sized clothes.

Ø  Segregates and piles up different categories of clothes.

Ø  Uses child friendly knife and Cuts veggies like Okra, carrots, cucumber with assistance.

Ø  With little help, he peels fruits / veggies using child friendly peeler.

Ø   Identifies currency denominations and its uses.

Ø  Selects his own clothes and basic understanding of
combinations to wear.

Adventurous (6 – 8 years old)

Ø  By now, he voluntarily helps in most of the house chores.

Ø  Enjoys chopping veggies using a blunt          knife.

Ø  Understands the concept of mixing and stirring while cooking.

Ø  Makes simple food like sandwich on his   own.

Ø  Sorts and puts away basic grocery items.

Ø  In an Indian household, he serves meals to the guests (with assistance)

Ø  Starts moving around independently, in known places like building compound.

Ø  Uses dustpan, broom and mopes the floor by him.

Ø  Prepares his birthday party guest list.

Ø  Selects his story books.

Ø  With little help, packs his school bag.

Ø  Tells time (with assistance)

Responsible (9 – 10 years old)

Ø  He starts getting independent with chores like crossing the road.

Ø  Takes care of his personal hygiene without being      told.

     Ø  Goes to a store and makes basic  purchases.

     Ø  Plans his meals with preferences.

     Ø  Uses microwave with assistance.

     Ø  Enjoys packing / unpacking his suitcase before/ after  travelling.         Ø  Looks after younger friends and cousins.

     Ø  Writes letter / post cards to family members.

     Ø   With little help, wraps gifts.

 ** This information chart is compiled with my own experiences and experiments. It varies as per every child’s need and development. It does not constitute a standardized research.