MY TAKE ON BEING A MOM TO A SINGLE CHILD

“Beta, it’s time to have a second baby” was one of the statement I used to hear few years back (and of course I do have to listen to it now but rarely) Statements like these can never be argued or carried forward as a conversation but here are my thoughts (or I wish I could reply back to those aunties) :

•     “Siblings are great companions” - I do have siblings and we bond very well. We, the grownups, are busy with our careers, family and life; we seldom meet. I know they will always be there for me when needed but when I actually need them, they are pre committed which I will not say is wrong.  21^st century kids are so independent that they will make friends quickly.
•         “Beta, you have a good family support” - yes I do have super support from my husband, mother in law, my mom and all others. But this is no reason to have a second child. At the end, I am the mother and I am responsible for everything. I can take their help but cannot be depended on them.
  
•      “By God’s grace, family is financially good.” -  I am very glad that family is financially strong and can afford many kids but that is not the reason why I am not having a second child. Beside education, there are many other expenses like after school activities, Holiday trips, Birthday Parties and the list goes on which demand not only finances but devoted time. I rather have one child and give him best of everything.
  
•     “Having a second child, increases the bond between husband and wife” : Really?  After having our child, we already spend very less time with each other as during the day we are busy with work and when he is free in the evening/ night, I am busy with my son’s classes and homework.  So in case if we have another child, We won’t see each other for days :)
  
  

I am confident that PN Jr.  will grow as an independent, obedient and caring Human. Few people believe that a single child tends to grow stubborn and self centered. There are families who have 3 to 4 children and yet are very stubborn. So it’s totally on one’s nature how he grows to be.

I might face the following challenges:

•   Inculcating sharing habits.
•   Taking care of the younger ones.
• Assuring safety while I play with other kids.

 But, all of these would have to be managed and implemented whether I have 1 or more children.

At the end, all I can say is..

 A mother to a single child is a happy mom who makes sure that her family too is always happy.

Are we really spending time with our kids?

In today's world, Parenting is so challenging. I remember when i was a kid, there were few games which we played at all ages. Games like hopscotch, kho kho, dog and the bone and more like these are just fading away. A week back i met few friends with their kids aged between 4 to 6 years for a playdate. To my surprise none of the kids knew the game Dog and the bone. But all the kids knew games like candy crush saga, subway surfer , fruit ninja, car racing and all the games that we play either on mobile phones or Tabs or Ipads.
Its a new trend where moms are discussing that what all games have they downloaded on their gadgets. But very few or rather none ever discusses what physical activity did her child do except for classes. I mean classes like football, cricket, skating are really needed at the age of 3 or 4 years? Taking kids to parks and garden is alsofading away.

I agree kids are playing football, cricket, Lego. BUT ALL ON THE GADGETS. Why is it that Moms want their kids to attend all those classes which are happening around? Why cant we sit with our kids and play all those games which we played as a child?
I was surprised to hear about a class where the kids of age 6 to 7 years are taught how to increase writing speed. Isnt thats we as parents need to work on?
There are literally competitions between moms as to how many classes her child goes for. I understand in 21st century, kids are super active and absorbs things from their environment faster than how we learnt as a child. But that doesnot mean that we keep sending kids to all possible classes and miss out on "we" time.
The concept of going for Picnics has just vanished. Why are we(adults) not doing all those things which our parents did for us when we were kids?